Wednesday, October 21, 2009

To Be Me and Clever Zombies

To Be Me  was in Nathan's backpack yesterday. It came with a note from the woman who had sent me a letter about reading to Nathan's class kids with Asperger's. I read it with him last night. It was a story about David, who is 10, and he loves race cars ALOT.

David goes on to tell us how he found out that he has Asperger's (his parents took him to the doctor), and that he knows he different. But even though he knows he's different, he still wants to make friends and have fun and do well in school.

As I read this, my eyes welled up huge Niagra Fall type tears and my throat tightened. Nathan was behind me, somehow not noticing me crying.

I can't blame him for not catching on that I get very weepy when reading things like this. I'm almost thankful. He doesn't need to see me crying, because some tears are hard to explain. I'm a big softie sensitive Pisces. Enough said!

On a different note, (lalalala!) Nathan and I were playing cards the other night. We like to play War and Crazy 8's. The games are quick, there are simple rules and you never know who will win. It's a hard thing to teach a child to lose normally. It's a horse of a different color to teach an Aspie how to lose!

They usually want to quit if they think they might lose or if you are ahead. Quitting is easier than losing. I try to put Nathan in situations where learning this lesson is in a safe and encouraging environment, so home is the best choice.

I keep the games light and fun, trying to remind him that we have to learn how to win and how to lose. Both are equally important. The great thing about card games, unlike a board game, is that your "impending" failure is not staring at you in the face. You never know what might happen. It's all in the cards, which give them a sort of magical anything-can-happen aspect. As we played, Nathan said, "Mom, am I a clever zombie?"  I replied, "You sure are, Nate!"

He has decided that he wants to be a vampire for Halloween. He has wanted to be a skeleton for weeks. However, he always changes his mind when we get closer to Halloween. I asked him what kind of vampire he wants to be. "There are different kinds?!" he asked. I laughed to myself, thinking how awesome he would be as a mini Edward Cullen, all moody and sparkling in the fluorescent light. He's already a hit with the 7-8 year old girls. One girl called him "sweetiepie" and asked him to marry her as they were playing restaurant at the After School Program. He ran over to me and whispered in my ear, "MOM! She asked me to marry her! What do I do?" I giggled and said, "Well, you tell her that you are much too young to committ yourself to such a long term relationship." All this from the boy, who at 5, told me that he was pregnant with a girl baby. I'm not quite ready to kick the bird out of the nest, but I do love my clever zombie who works hard to be just him.


  1. Amy, you are such a good mom! I love how you explained the difficulty with games - so true!

  2. I just found your blog and I am loving it. My son is almost 7 and he is currently being tested for Asperger's. I am sad and scared and overwhelmed. Your blog is so positive and wonderful. It has helped me see through my tears today.

  3. You rock Big Momma Kux.

    lil momma kux aka Sumo's Auntie.

  4. Andrea,

    Thank you so much for your amazing and heartfelt comment. I teared up a little reading it! I know that the idea of your son having Asperger's is daunting and scary. I'm glad that I gave you a little bit of joy this day.

    One of my goals is to let parents know that you can have a child with Asperger's and still have an incredibly wonderful and colorful life.

    Please feel free to email me at I'd love to hear from you.

    All the best,


  5. Meredith,

    You showed me how board games and card games are fun again! You helped me so much this summer, I can't begin to explain how much that meant to me. Thank you for your support. You're awesome!


  6. Kux,

    Sumo has graduated to Ninja. ;) Pretty soon, Darin will have to be a ninja too! LOL!

    Mama Okusan Kux