Monday, February 1, 2010

I'm Not a Superhero

Today was a very crazy and very hectic which required some incredibly harmonious timing, which I do not excel at nor do I take lightly.

I HATE, and let me emphasize the HATE, having to be on such a schedule full of minutiae. I fret like Carlos Santana and am a mess the entire time.

So, our day looked like this:

8:10 Drive to school
8:30 Drop Nathan off
8:45 Drive to Dunkin Donuts
9:10 Get to first stop (11 miles from home)
11:55 Leave first destination
12:20 Pick up Nathan from school
12:30: Travel to 2nd stop (65 miles from home)
1:50 Drop Nathan off w/Dad & Step mom
2:05 Head to family wake
2:25 Leave family wake (not happy to leave so early)
2:35 Pick up Nathan
2:45 On road to 3rd stop (45 miles from 2nd stop)
3:05 Call therapist, tell her we'll be late by 15 min.
3:40 Get to therapy. Therapist is awesome
4:15 Leave therapist and head home (20 miles)
5:05 Clean up before Sitter arrives
6:05 Sitter arrives. Nathan starts jumping on my bed
6:15 I leave for training after Nathan pushes me out the door.
6:35 Get to training.
8:45 Have to beg off training. Sitters are expensive.
9:05 Find Nathan reading. Has bamboozled sitter into letting him glide through writing assignment
9:15 Nathan says he has to burn off energy by jumping on my bed. Again.
9:30 Nathan is in bed, is having a chat with his stuffed animals. 

I am exhausted just thinking about my day. As we were driving from stop 2 to stop 3, Nathan was not dealing with all the sun which was making playing his DS difficult. He said I was the worst mother in the world and that I didn't give him everything he wanted. Earlier in the day, he said he wanted to live with his father and see me on the weekends. I chalked that up to us not having the coveted Wii and his dislike of short transitions. 

We got to therapy and I told his therapist that Nathan's behavior has been a mixed bag lately. I'm never quite sure what I'm going to get. None of it horrible, just not what I'm expecting. A very Forrest Gump box of chocolates kind of mentality. 

 I explained what had happened in the car and how I wanted to satisfy his needs, but that would entail me stopping on the highway, which I really couldn't do. She wrote on an orange piece of paper...

"Superman is pretend.
Mom is real.
Mom is not Superman"
She gave this to Nathan along with...

"Yelling doesn't work."
"Families do better when they talk calmly and listen."

She said that she was proud that I wasn't trying to be supermom and that I accept my faults and failures, but try again. She told Nathan that she loved his sense of humor. We all played cribbage, which neither Nathan and I have tried before, and he did very well for a game with lots of directions and rules. 

I don't like days like this, because it makes me want to pull all my hair out, but there are times when these days are unavoidable. I did my best to let Nathan know what was happening, to acknowledge his needs and try to satisfy them if they were reasonable and to show him love and give him time to adjust. 

There was LOTS of potential for disaster, and we managed to not have one, just a little speed bump. Thank makes me happy and gives Nathan confidence. 
But now, I'm just happy I'm not in the car. 

Until tomorrow....

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