Sunday, February 27, 2011

Eat Chocolate

This past week I haven't been blogging. Or doing much of anything for that matter. I'll tell you why...

I took a vacation. 

I know! I KNOW! HOW could I have taken a vacation? How DID I manage to take a vacation? I just did it. 

Well, Nathan was going to Florida with his father and stepmother for most of the week. I had taken the week off from the Y to work at the ARC. The ARC's sign up was small for vacation week, so it kind of happened serendipitously.

I honestly didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I knew that I needed to do a whole bunch of NOTHING. I needed to recharge, refresh and press that reset button. 

There were times where I felt guilty. For taking time for ME. The voice of despair in my brain was screaming as I slept very much past my alarm, or did not go to work, or did not do my dishes for DAYS. But I learned to ignore it. Or at least I learned how to pat it on the head, give it a drink of water and send it to its room. 

I did shopping therapy, which was delightfully indulgent. Trying to take Nathan shopping for anything that doesn't involve him directly is not on my top 10 list of things to do. Ever. So, being able to dwell over little bits and baubles and jewels and shoes and makeup satisfied my tiny but long neglected need to be a super girly girl. 

I ate in restaurants and didn't wolf my food down my gullet like it was an immunity challenge on Survivor. I spent mornings in my pajamas, eating chocolate and goofing off on the internet without the dulcet tones of my son's whining asking for the computer. I ate whatever I wanted, but wasn't crazy about it. If I wanted pizza, I got it. If I wanted salad, I ate it. I had relatively balanced meals, along with completely decadent desserts. I was a shameless carb whore and I loved every microsecond. 

I got a little time away, and spent some time reflecting on my world. I took a moment, gazing out on the horizon and wondered about my life, my son, my struggles, my faults, my triumphs. I realized that I need to remind myself of how awesome I am and that it is perfectly okay to do that. I spent time with friends, ate more chocolate, had impossible conversations. It was just what I needed, what I had always wanted. And I don't regret it. 

This is for you, parents and care takers. It is very very easy for us to neglect the most important person in our lives. US. We need to be in the best shape, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. If we do not subscribe to self care,  our complex and intricate dance of plates and balls that we juggle and spin will collapse upon us like the weight of heaven.

 Eat chocolate. Eat cake. Eat fried chicken. Walk in your pajamas. Go to the movies in a fantastic hat. Paint, read, sleep, create, dream, do yoga. Do what you need to do to get your creative juices recharged. Just do it. Please. Even if it's one hour. That one hour will give you so much back to your life. And to your soul.  It is delicious and incredibly satisfying. 


  1. All great except going to the movies in a hat - I hate it when people sit in front of me wearing large hats. :-)

    Good that you took time out for yourself - and typical that you feel a little guilty.

    You shouldn't feel guilty because you're doing this for Nathan too. Next time he gets in your hair, you're going to feel just that little bit calmer for having had a rest.

    De-stressing your life will de-stress his a bit too.

  2. Shameless carb whore?! Totally love it! I so feel where you're at with no time to linger over baubles and makeup while shopping. I too, know the pain of having little hands grab for your computer. (Sigh!)

    I completely believe I have no time to spare for myself - not even an hour to do my day job, blog, housework, care for son, drive and sleep. However, your words are going to stick with me, I know. Maybe I will sneak away for 15 minutes to get some chocolate!

    Glad I found you!

  3. @ Gavin: I think large hats are quite fetching! :)

    Also, I think that taking a break from life in general is a good thing, even in small doses.

  4. @Karen: Delighted to have you aboard this crazy ship! Thank you for reading the blog and that a little bit of my dribble (lol!) maybe helped you today. :)