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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

You choosing to keep your children out of the spotlight is completely your choice and I respect your decision to do so. Your choice to keep their diagnoses to yourselves is also your choice. I would never judge you for your choices.

I think we have to look here at the concept of hiding. Both of us have nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of. Our struggles and triumphs are similar to everyone else's, except we've put a name and a face on it. I think the last poster makes a valid point. If it was someone who was struggling in a different arena: discrimination, poverty, race, age, sex, gender, religion, would you ask them to please not identify themselves and to keep it on the downlow? Would you ask them not to share their stories with others, to keep it anonymous and safe? I'm not interested in making my child a martyr, but also, I'm not going to keep quiet. There are several hundred special needs blogs which show children's faces and names. There are thousands of other blogs with folks who are working on a journey and detail their every move, along with pictures, contact information and other tidbits. 

As for future consequences, this is a story of survival, of successes, of troubles and problems and overcoming them. I've had employers, parents, school officials, authors and special needs advocaes (Holly Robinson Peete, Yoko Ono, and Shonda Schilling) read this blog and give me nothing but praise about what I am doing. His therapists completely know about what I do and read what goes and are completely supportive. I can't see why this blog would be a negative for him as he grows. It shows what work he's done, how hard he is focusing to make his life a fantastic joyous thing. 

Also, if kids are going to find things, then they will find it. We live in an age where it is impossible to keep anything off the radar. And honestly, it is disappointing that kids are still in a place where they fear things that are different or unusual and in their fear and anxiety, the only thing they know how to do is to hate and to bully and to shame and to find methods to bring other people down. He's at a place in his life where he knows that kids look at him different, and sometimes treat him different, but he has the tools to be okay and to walk through life with his head held high. He has a wonderful support system in place and is in a great school where they are accepting of who he is. Is everyone going to be accepting? No. And that is life. There will be folks who will not be tolerant of him and he knows this. He has nothing to be ashamed of, being who he is. He is proud of who he is. I am proud of who he is. I'm not going to have him not be who he is because it makes other people uncomfortable. He may speak too loud or talk too much or have a narrow subject focus, but I wouldn't change that for the world. Nor would I change what I've done here.

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