Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Horribles Parade

Remember that lovely and touching post about how amazing my son is and how we've overcome major obstacles to get to where we are? How I talked about how very hard he has worked? How polite he is? Wasn't that Sunday?

Monday was not that day.

Monday started at 5:40 AM with the cat doing her caterwauling thing. She does this at the top of the stairs and there is a convenient gap in the door to my room where the noise seeps down the steps and into my ears. I immediately grab my phone, see that it is 5:40 and groan thinking it's much too early for this animal to be making any noise.

60 seconds later, the boy wakes up and immediately opens the door to my room, with cat in tow. She is mewling at being held against her will. He jumps in the bed with the cat and he lands on my bladder, which is a lovely way to be startled out of sleep.

 The cat wants to cuddle and she does so. Against my face. With her butt. Cat drool commences and I am overwhelmed with it, as it's ice cold. The boy decides now's a good time to pet (aka torment) the cat, and pets her vigorously. Cat pushes her butt towards my nose and then she shakes, so I'm covered in feline poop stink and drool.

It's 5:46 AM.

I make an executive decision to get the heck out of the bed, as it's WAY too crowded for me. The boy then says he wants to eat. I figure since it's early I can make pancakes and I do so. I feed the cat, and she sticks her nose up at the bowl. I make a mental note that she probably hates this food, too.

I finish the pancakes and put some dark amber agave on them, which I have done before and he has eaten before. He takes a tiny taste and immediately HATES the whole plate of food. He WILL NOT TOUCH IT. I have flash backs of him not eating anything with a color race through my brain. I think I'm getting dizzy. I'm upset I have to chuck a whole plate of food. He says he's still hungry. I told him I already fed him once and now he's on his own. He pouts and grumbles at me. He asks if he can eat the three remaining  plain pancakes. I tell him yes. I proceed to stuff my face with my pancakes, as I need the energy to be able to deal with him and my other 40 afterschool kids. I already know that it's going to be a long day. 

We're supposed to go to the beach, but there is not a chance I'm going to win that battle, so I choose to not go. I make the appropriate phone calls. I tell him that we're spending the morning at home, but I do have to go to work. The rest of the morning goes relatively smoothly. I get him settled and go out for an iced vanilla americano, which was like the best thing ever that day. I figured I needed to be caffeinated or I would become pretty grouchy and / or surly.

We head to work, I have my meeting without incident. We get in the car to get some lunch. I know he hasn't eaten since 6 AM and I am craving Burger King. We get there and the line is long. He's usually good about waiting, but he will sometimes jump all over me if he's bored or he'll keep touching me until I'm annoyed. Yeah, he did both. Hard to order a sandwich with a hyperactive 10 year old waving his hands in my face. 

He takes a sandwich, unwraps it, inspects it and deems it not worthy to eat. I look at it and realize he's unwrapped my sandwich. I tell him to unwrap the other one. He does, and without taking off the top bun, he bites into it. 

The horror ensues. 

"THIS SANDWICH HAS CONDIMENTS ON IT!" he exclaims loudly after biting a huge chunk out of it.
I take a gander, and yes, it does does: ketchup, mustard and pickles. The dreaded trifecta of stuff on a burger. He is horrified, which is strange as he's been very flexible about me just wiping it off with a napkin. Which I offer to do, and I do. He turns his nose up at it again. 

My son's worst food nightmare

"I won't eat it, " he warns. "That's okay. You can either eat this one you have right now, or you can go in line and get yourself another one."
"NO," he threatens. He's testing me now.
"That's okay, too."
"Mom, it came with STUFF on it." he pleads.
"I know, buddy. Who ordered the burger?"
He thinks for a moment. "I did."
"Yes, you did. And did you remember to ask them not to put stuff on it?"

I see defeat in his eyes, and he's sad now. Which is not where I wanted him to go. He starts to shame spiral to himself and bang his head on the table a few times. I try to calm him down and he's not listening. I'm finally able to get him to focus and to remind him that if he's ordering for himself, he needs to remember that burgers always come with stuff on them and he has to request them plain. It's not a terrible thing that happened and that it is not the end of the world. 

I manage to get him in the car and I go to work with him in tow. He's still a ball full of energy most of the day. He tries to interact with some different 5th grade girls and his behavior is all excited, which means he's usually showboating or doing some kind of behavior to bring attention to himself, which is repetitive. It doesn't go well and the girls ignore him, which makes him feel sad and shameful, and he's on his hands and knees, his head to the ground, crying. I go over to see what's going on and he won't talk to me. I tell him I want to help him, but he has to let me in. He does manage to get up and start playing with different friends, which is a relief.

I spend a good deal of time redirecting him, as he's interacting with a variety of  peers and getting them all riled up. He's testing his boundaries, of course, and seeing how far he can go since Mom is in charge. I give him some leeway, but not much. My exhaustion is at its peak and I'm so ready for another coffee. I tried to remember my mindful mini meditations, but I grabbed a piece of chocolate instead.

We finish the day and I am thankful that he and his pals get to run around some more before I take him home. This helps burn off any excess energy, which he apparently had in spades.

As soon as we walk in the door, he's starving and proceeds to eat at least one of each type of snack we have in the house. When they say boys can eat you out of house and home, oh my goodness, they were NOT kidding! I tell him he doesn't have too long on his computer, as he needs to go to bed early, which fortunately, he does.

He went to bed at 9:15 PM after having been awake almost 16 hours.


1 comment:

  1. oh, a day in the life... do know about the boy eating thing - my 15 yr old thinks that the light in the fridge is for tanning - and boy is he tanned! lol