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Sunday, March 23, 2014

All The Homework: An Asperger Ninja's Unofficial guide to Homework ( now with extra meme!)

As you may or not be aware, dear readers, is that my son doesn't like to do his homework. Not only does he not like to do it, he was actively HIDING it from me. 





Now, Aspies tend not to lie very well, as they are for the most part, logical beings. The concept of lying doesn't come to them easily. However, the fact that my son is not only lying but actively lying is an impressive skill. 

Impressive, but not one that I want to encourage. 

But...he's still doing many things to escape work. Like hiding it. "Forgetting" it. Blaming Asperger's for it. Having to "take care of the cat". 


So, I feel alot like this:

and this:


and then N responds with this:



And of course, this: 

Welcome to Executive Functioning Deficit! This is absolutely true. Given a due date for a project, N will not do any work, until the DUE DATE. It's very frustrating and anxiety inducing. 


The biggest culprit is his Social Studies class, where the teacher says, "Hey kids, here's this packet that's due every Friday." N is like, "Whoohoo! No homework! I'm ready to tear my hair out. Giving an assignment like that to an Aspie and ADHD kid is like giving him a bag of angry wet cats to deal with. 


That cat is going to murder your face. Now what do you do? 

Needless to say, his grade went down significantly in this subject. We do have a plan. Or an old plan we're revamping. But a plan!

Custom Built Binders.

I took a workshop with Sara Ward, who is an expert on working with kids with EFD. As the homework for kids is already a chore, imagine the organizational processing that has to go with that. She recommended a custom binder. 

(sorry, couldn't get these to rotate!) 


This is the cover. He was fond of the recent Keanu meme I made so he wanted this for the cover. It makes it personalized and gets him engaged in making it "his" binder. 




This is the inside of one of his subject folders. Each one looks the same on the inside. It has a DO side and a DONE side. All work that is due ( or to do) is on the left. It only goes on the right when it's DONE. 


I added this into his school homework book (which I am not a big fan of, as it is too stimulating and has too much information, but I can manage). I want to let him know that even though he's growing up, a little encouragement from mom is good. 



MCAS is this week for 6th grade, so a big sticker to remind him that he has two days of testing. He literally had NO idea that it was happening this week.

This system seems to work for us. I've had other parents ask me to guide them through it and they have also been pleased with the results.  It's not perfect, but its better than the alternative.

I keep on forgetting that N is still a KID. I know he doesn't look or sound like one, but he is still only 11. He's growing up and being bombarded with a tsunami of emotions and hormones and his mother nagging him to death. 


I remembered to take it slow with him and give him some space and not be so harsh on him. There are some things he does need to learn, but he doesn't have to grow up right away. I'm not ready to let that go. We both have a lot of learning to do. 
















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1 comment:

  1. My 8 yr old Aspie has a meltdown about homework almost every night. He says school work is at school and doesn't come home because home is home. It's a great night when we get him to do half of it.

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